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no sleep I feel like we're all back in kindergarten. It is absolutely ridiculous, and it amazes me that a grown woman of 60+ is acting this way. I could completely understand it coming from the NR who isn't yet 21. But no. It is the oldest of us all who is acting like an immature child. The OA came into my office today when the NR was at lunch, and just started going off on the NR. Saying she's an airhead, that she's not going to have her file anymore because she doesn't do it immediately, nor does she file properly. Her charts are a mess now. I asked if her she's told her about any mistakes she's found, and of course she hadn't. She has just decided that she's not going to let her do it anymore. She told me that the neighbor asked who the hooker was sitting outside, and I just didn't even know what to say about that. The NR wears nice pants, and tends to wear tank tops most days, but she is aware that she isn't dressing appropriately and is trying to get up enough money to buy some new more work appropriate clothes. She does not, by any means, look like a hooker. By this point, I was getting angry. This is absolutely ridiculous! I told her that she cannot learn if she won't teach her. She isn't dumb. And anytime I needed something corrected, she listened, and corrected it. No problem. If she doesn't know she is doing something wrong, then she can't fix it. There is no point in having her if the OA isn't going to use her. I told her I didn't see why it was necessary for her to jump up and file the files immediately so long as they were out of sight from other people. She didn't have anything to say to me after that, and just walked away. Next thing I know, I'm getting a phone call from my boss regarding a conversation he just had with Dr Ass regarding a conversation he had with the OA. I told my boss that the OA and I had just discussed this a little while ago, and I explaimed to him what I'd told her, and how I viewed things. I told him, and he agreed, that the OA has been against her from day 1 because she is young and has tattoos. That she doesn't give her a chance. That she said she'd filed incorrectly, but refuses to show her and let her learn. That she told me she just wasn't going to give her anything to do anymore because it just took too much time. He's asked me to talk to Dr Ass about it, and I can't hardly wait. *rolls eyes* The man who won't give me the time of day unless he needs me to do something. Fucker. But whatever. I'll talk to him. If he'll talk to me. Still unable to have sex. Artboy has been incredibly patient with me, and I'm just ready to switch to a new birth control. While I love everything else about the Nuvaring, this just isn't going to work for me. I'm giving it one more month. I'll use a course of Monistat in case there is a yeast infection, which is apparently common, and give the ring just one more month. Everything I've read said that any irritation usually corrects itself within 3 months, and I just finished my 3rd month. I'd hate to almost be through with the problem and switch prematurely. But if this doesn't work, then I think I'm going to go back on the patch. The patch was the first thing that i've used that didn't make me sick to my stomach all the time, and I personally didn't have any other issues with it. Artboy doesn't want me to go back on the patch because of all the news surrounding it lately, but it worked for me. I've wondered about an IUD, but i just don't know. If I have to switch, I'll talk to the doc first. I'm just so upset about all of this. I've been here before, and I never wanted to come back. Although before, I didn't care so much because sex with Ryan wasn't important to me. I'd never enjoyed it before..just did it to make him happy. But sex with Artboy has always been good..something I enjoyed...something I *wanted* and that makes the situation so much worse. And when we try, and I just can't, I feel like such a failure..like something is horribly wrong with me, and I just dissolve into tears. I tried so hard this last time to push through the pain, but it just wasn't happening. It felt like someone had sandpaper and was sanding my insides. He says I feel different too. I don't know. I just feel awful. But i'll give it one more month. And then that's it. I purchased a Diva Cup to try out instead of tampons. I've done some reading about it, and I've read a lot of positive things, so I thought I'd give it a try. I tried inserting it last night, and couldn't feel it. Had a difficult time breaking the suction when I pulled it out...which is probably good--it won't leak. It'll be interesting. Ever since Artboy and I announced we were going to be moving in with each other, my friend Donna told me to let them know when we were moving and they'd be there to help. When I moved into my apt the first time, she told me the same thing...and again when I moved into storage, but I didn't take anyone up on the offered help. But this time, I decided I would. So I told her as soon as we had the move in date, and told her I'd give her more details as they became available. Last week, when Artboy rented the truck, I sent her an email to let her know what our plans were and asked if they were still interested in helping. I received an email last night saying that they had plans at 5pm and one of them could come help for 2 hours. Now, perhaps I'm being ungrateful. Perhaps I should just be happy that one of them is able to help at all, but I was a little upset. Everytime anything was mentioned about the move, they both said they'd be there. And then when I am actually taking them up on it, it falls apart. We aren't going to get much moving done in a couple hours, and I felt like just saying forget it. But I won't. I'll take what I can get. We went to dinner this weekend with some friends of ours, and they offered to help as well. We're definitely going to take them up on it. I know Artboy has known Matt since college, but we've all gone out and hung out a few times since Artboy and I met. And Artboy's friends are coming through for us...while mine aren't. And they knew about it for a month. Oh well. Guess I know where I stand. Artboy worked grave yard on Friday, and woke up late on Saturday. We went to dinner with some friends and a chinese place that they chose which happened to be a place I've been wanting to try for awhile. It wasn't so long ago that Artboy and I drove by and I told him that I wanted to try that place. The food was great. We each got a dish and then shared, and it was delicious! We also each got this huge Tiger beer to drink, and for some reason, I was way behind everyone else. They'd all finished theirs and I wasn't even half done. The waitress was teasin me because of it. We had a lovely time, and then went to Artboy's where we were going to pack, but he was too tired, so we just laid in bed and watched tv. I was getting irritated because we'd be watching something, and then he'd flip to something else. And watch that for awhile, and then flip. My head was starting to pound--shouldn't have drank that beer--it triggered a migraine, and I was tired, so I asked him for the ear plugs so I could try to sleep. Then he was all, "your're going to bed already?" and asked me if it was too loud, and I told him it wasn't helping my head any. It's times like these when it sucks that your boyfriend can't hear very well out of one ear, because he likes to turn the tv on loud so he can hear it. I stayed awake awhile longer, and he turned it down a bit, but an hour or so later, he turned it back up, and I just gave up and put the plugs in and turned on my side and tried to sleep. A little while later, he turned the tv off and went to sleep as well, but not before taking some Tylenol PM so he could be sure that he'd go to sleep (since he hadn't been awake for more than 6 hours). He fell asleep immeidately. But not me. After laying there, miserable for over 2 hours, I finally gave up. He was hogging the bed, the pillow between his knees was laying on me, I was burning up (and not wearing any clothing or even a sheet), and my head just wouldn't stop hurting. I got up, and quietly put on my clothes, but as soon as I picked up my purse, he woke up and asked what I was doing. I told him I was going home..that I couldn't sleep. He asked why, and I told him. Told him I loved him, and then left. He has such poor sleeping etiquette. And I keep hoping that it will get better, but each time we discuss it, and nothing changes. And it almost seems unfair to hold stuff he does while he's asleep against him...but I have to. I hope that once we sleep together regularly, he'll get better. There was a time when it wasn't so bad. When I got home, it was 3am. I took a trazadone, and finally was able to go to sleep. Unfortunately, I was awake by 8:30 and unable to go back to sleep. :( And the head was still killing me. |