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forgotten... I saw my sis-in-law yesterday, and I was alarmed. She's been home a few weeks now. My brother said that she's gained about 10-15 pounds since she went in for treatment, but man...if she's gained that much, I'd sure hate to see how she looked before she went. Mom says that she doesn't look like she's gained any weight to her, and she saw her the day before she left. I was trying to remember the last time I saw her--I think it was for Mother's Day, which was just a couple weeks before the shit hit the fan. I hope she really is getting better. I went to my parents house last night after work so I could see Heath for a bit before we had to take him back home. He's growing like a weed, and starting to try to walk around without holding onto things. The first thing I saw when I walked in the door was him taking a few steps towards me. His eyes are starting to change--I wonder if he'll have hazel eyes. They are starting to get brown flecks in them--he's losin the blue. He was so tired last night but refused to go down for a nap. Didn't fall asleep until we were in the car on the way home. On our way to the mall from her parent's house, we saw this huge fire that looked like it may have been at the small airport over there. Emergency crews were just arriving, because we had to stop for them. I wish we could know what happened, but I haven't found anything about it. It was quite a large fire with lots of black, black smoke. Hope everyone was okay. I spent the weekend sick. I came home on Wednesday and was just exhausted, so I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up, my nose was all stuffy/runny, and I thought it was because I was laying on Justin's feather pillow. I tried to do without allergy medication, as my pills were at work, but by 1:00am, I couldn't go back to sleep and I was just miserable. I asked Artboy if he had any benedryl, and he told me where he thought they were. They weren't there. I asked if they could be any where else, and he didn't answer--he was too busy playing his online video game. I tried to go back to bed, but it soon became apparent that I wasn't going to get to sleep. He came in the room about 20 min later, looking for the pills, but was unsuccessful. So I told him that I needed to go to the pharmacy to get some. Now, if the situation had been reversed, I would have offered to go for him. I HAVE gone for him. Even though I was tired...even though I had to get up early the next morning for work. But all he does is go back to his game. So I get dressed, look up the nearest 24 hour pharmacy and leave without another word, angry that he didn't at least offer to go with me since we've got a serial rapist and serial killer on the loose (tho the serial killer was supposedly captured the next day). I got home after 2am, took the pills, and went to bed. He came out in the hall when I got home, but I didn't say anything to him. I was too exhausted to have the conversation with him. 20 minutes later, I'm still awake, and he comes into the room, touches my back and asks if I'm angry at him. I say, "A little," and he says, "Because I didn't go for you?" I told him because he didn't at least offer to go with me. I remind him that we have a serial killer and rapist out there in the area, and he starts saying, "Oh my god, I didn't even think." over and over. And asking why I didn't remind him...that I needed to remind him. He said he forgot, and I told him that it must be nice to be able to forget. It's always on my mind when I go anywhere after work...trying to make sure I'm home before dark. He just keeps saying, "I'm so sorry. You have to tell me." And I just lay there, quiet. Wanting to sleep. I finally went to sleep something after 2:45, and was cruely awakened at 6am by Artboy's violently tossing and turning and I felt awful. It feels like an earthquake when he tosses and turns...drives me crazy. I was so tried, but every time I started to doze off, he'd flip over again, and wake me up. I finally got out of bed at 6:30 and tried to sleep on the couch, but by then, I was awake. As I left, he calls out, "Sorry!" Remind me again why I get up and lay on the couch when I'm tossing and turning? I force myself to go to work, although I feel like crap, and realize that I'm not just having allergy issues. I've got a cold. That gets progressively worse as the day goes on. But I have to do billing, so I can't leave. Artboy calls me at lunch time and again apologizes, saying that he feels real bad. And again, that I need to remind him of such things. I tell him that even without the serial killer and rapists out there, it would have been nice for him to offer to go. He knew how tired I was...how crappy I was feeling...and how I wouldn't be able to easily fall asleep once I woke myself up to drive there. He knew I had to get up by 7am to go to work, and that he had a few more hours before he'd come to bed. I pointed out that I've gone out to get him meds when he's felt crappy in the middle of the night before, and that it would have been nice for him to take a few minutes from his game to help me out. He said that I was right, and apologized. I should have just asked him. I'm sure he would have gone. But I was being stupid. I left work an hour early on Thursday, dragged myself to work on Friday, and left and hour early again after I finished the billing. Artboy was very attention Thurs after he got off work..and again on Friday when I got home. Was supposed to go to a surprise birthday party for Val on Saturday, but I still felt pretty crappy and figured they didn't need me making all the kids there sick, so I stayed home. He had to work the early morning shift on Sunday, but came home just before noon because they were slow, so we had an unexpected day together. Ran some errands..bought myself a desk chair and received $50 off on it. Looked for placemats for the dinner this weekend, but didn't have any luck. Firmed up the menu for the dinner as well. Hope it goes well. I'm nervous about it. Have a lot to do between now and then to prepare for it. Sooo tired right now. I could fall asleep easily. Don't think I'm getting enough oxygen, so it's making me sleepy. *yawn* |