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better It's been a long couple of weeks. My mom called me at work on the 19th and told me that my Grandmother wasn't doing well at all, that she was being transferred to the #1 heart hospital in TN, and could I take her to the airport that day at 3pm. To which I said of course. We hung up, and as soon as I hung up, I thought, "I have to go with her." I tried calling her back, but I'm guessing she was online buying her tickets. I started crying because I knew that if my aunt had told my mom she needed to go, that things were not good at all. Pam came into my office and asked me to do something for her, which I did. And as she was leaving, she noticed that I was crying and asked me what was up. I looked at ticket prices, while crying. I called Artboy and cried some more. Finally got ahold of my mom and told her I was coming with her. And my boss finally got off the phone, and I told him that I needed to go...that I didn't know when I'd be back. He was great, hugged me and told me to go..to not worry about things there. On my way out the door, the OA came up to me, wanting me to do some favor for her. I don't even remember what it was now. But I told her that i couldn't do it now, that I had to leave. And she's like, "I don't need it now..." and then proceeds to go on and on. And I tell her again that I'm on my way out the door, could she write me a note? And she's giving me a hard time about it, and Jess says, "I'll write the note, you go." The OA is like, "What's going on?" and although I didn't want to tell her about it, I told her I was going to TN, and she gives me a hug (ugh) and I FINALLY make it out the door. I rush home, pack, and then Artboy takes me and my mom to the airport. As soon as I made the decision to go, I felt better. My aunt and cousin met us at the airport and we went to the lodge at the hospital. We called the nurse to find out if my grandmother was awake, but she wasn't, so we set the alarm for 7:00am, since it was so late and tried to sleep. I think my mom and I showing up scared my grandmother. She didn't seem happy to see us...just scared. She said at one point that she thought the docs weren't telling her everything. When we got there, she started doing better. It had seemed like she was no longer losing blood. The doc there didn't take her seriously. He hated that we asked questions about how she was doing and what he wanted to do next. When he said that she'd just stopped bleeding and my mom asked why she would just stop bleeding, he looked at her like she was the dumbest person on earth and said, "She just did." He said several things that made it sound like he didn't think that there was anything wrong with her...like the docs at the other hospital had no reason to want to transfer her there. She'd lost so much blood..had been given 8 units of blood by then, and they couldn't figure out where it was leaking from. He was just concerned about her lungs--she's always had difficulty with her breathing. On Friday, he told us that she was going home, and said to us, that she'd "come there with her tales of woe," which just infuriated us. My grandmother told him that all of that was really true, though she later said that she didn't think anything of it...that it didn't bother her. I have always known that I hate confrontations. But she's got me beat. She doesn't want anyone to worry about her. Doesn't want to "put anyone out." When she was moved from the ICU up to the floor, the nurse there told her in no uncertain terms that she was not to get up without assistance from the nurse. They had just given her lasics downstairs before they moved her, so she'd have to get up and go to the bathroom a lot. My grandmother told her that she wouldn't be able to wait..that when she had to go, she had to go. The nurse told her that she'd come running..and that if she didn't make it in time, then she would change her bed and gown. So we go eat, and my grandmother calls her to get to the potty chair, but did not call her to go back to the bed. The nurse came in and chastized her, shaking her wash cloth at her, "giving her a whooping." She didn't call for her because "she didn't want to bother her"...she was so busy running all over the place. *sigh* So, the doc says that and angers us all, and my grandmother pretends nothing happened. My aunt told a nurse when the nurse asked how she was, and the nurse suggested that we tell administration...that this particular doctor was known for being that way. But my grandmother would have none of it, so nothing was reported. Later that afternoon, the doc came back in, told her she needed to be on oxygen from now on, and started the work on discharging her. The social worker came in and set up the oxygen. And my grandmother had a bowel movement that worried us all. Black as tar with lots of red, red blood. And when I say lots, I mean a lot. A lot. Just after that, the doc came back in and told us that she was all set to go home. And my grandmother told him that she'd just had a bowel movement, and could he go in and look to see what he thought. Which my aunt just loved. He went in, looked, and came back, saying, "I think you need to stay here." And things went from good to very very bad, very very quickly. In the matter of one hour, my grandmother was in bad shape. They gave her 3 more units of blood for a total of 11 units in all. She was as white as a sheet. She needed an oxygen mask. Sweat was pouring off her body. We went to the lodge after 10pm that night, and it took a couple hours for us to go to sleep. And at 3am, the phone rang. The hospital was transferring her to the SCU and we needed to get down there. Except I had taken two benedryl and couldn't get up. Plus I was just wiped out from the 3-5 hours of sleep I'd gotten a night since arriving..and the 2 hours I received the night before I left. So I stayed in bed, and my aunt and mom went down there. I called Artboy and just lost it. It was the first time I'd cried since arriving in TN. I was so scared we were going to lose her. He calmed me down, and I went back to sleep, waking up at 8:30. Seeing her that morning scared me to death. She was having such a difficult time breathing. Pneumonia in her lungs. They couldn't figure out where the bleeding was coming from. Things were not looking good. The only good thing was that suddenly the doctor who told us she came in there with her "tales of woe" was taking her illness seriously. And then suddenly, he was treating us with respect. Asking if we had any questions. Looking at us in the eye when talking with us. Treating my grandmother with kindness. Suddenly we were no longer wasting his time. Visiting hours in the SCU were very strict. We left at 10am to do some laundry and eat lunch. Some cousins drove down, and kept me company while I was waiting for our clothes to dry, while my aunt and mom went to see my grandmother. And soon, they called and told me she was doing so much better...that it was like night and day. My aunt came back to relieve me so I could go see how much better she was doing...with 20 min left of visiting time. I ran to her room, and she was doing so much better. Perky. Without the oxygen mask. Over the next week, they did so many tests on her. We rarely left the hospital. We ate out twice during my stay there. We had to go to target a couple times, and a few days into the trip, I had to go buy a new bra because the only one I had left broke in half. The rest of the time, we were right there in the hospital, in the waiting room or the cafeteria, waiting for visiting hours. Except for last Thursday, my mom, my aunt and I were inseperable. We've never spent so much time together. We laughed. We cried. We worried. We rejoiced. I'm so glad that I went...not only for myself...but for my mom and my aunt. We were there for each other. The doctors and nurses loved my grandmother. She was in 4 different rooms, and nurses from the other floors would come and visit her after she'd moved. They all said that she was a joy...a great patient. So upbeat and positive (except for last Thursday). She'd do what they told her, without complaint. And they said that we were amazing. It makes me sad that we are the exception. That other patient's families aren't there, supporting their loved ones. We were with her whenever we could be. One day towards the end, my aunt was talking about going to work for a bit...she'd been off work for over 2 weeks and needed to enter in her doc's charges so they could be paid. My grandmother didn't want her to go. She didn't want the circle to be broken. And just before my grandmother was supposed to have been released, we were going to check out of the lodge and stay at my cousin Alison's while she was out of town. But my grandmother didn't want us to be that far--even though it was only 5 miles away. Which spoke volumes to us all, since my grandmother doesn't want to put us out...or for us to spend any money because of her. She wanted us there, just as much as we needed to be there. On our second week there, I discovered that there was a snack place and a subway just down from the SCU. The snack place made great tea, and wonderful, cheap grilled cheese sandwiches. And they were super nice too. It was nice to go somewhere other than the cafeteria for a meal. I have never been so sick of hamburgers, veggie burgers, breakfast pizza or peanut butter cookies. If I never eat in a hospital cafeteria again, it will be too soon. I discovered a rock garden on the 2nd floor where I could use my cell phone (it didn't work inside the hospital except on the 7th floor). I learned to knit. And learned way more about my grandmother than I would ever have wanted to know. They did so many procedures on her. 3 colonoscopies, 4 endoscopes. They sucked stuff out of her lungs. And much more. They decided that the 2 ulcers that they had discovered, weren't fully healed as they originally thought and cauterized them. They were so so tiny though, they had difficulty believing that all that blood came from such small areas. They also decided that the blood could have come from her diverticulitis, though they weren't sure. They had her swallow a camera pill to see what's going on in her small intestines. I don't know what came of that..I keep forgetting to call and ask. (That was the last thing they did to her, and released her before they had the results). They feared they would have to do exploratory surgery to find out where the bleeding was. And they were afraid to do that because of her heart and lungs. But the bleeding stopped again, so they didn't do it. Last Thurs, it looked like they were going to release her. But her lung specialist was concerned that there was still fluid in her lungs and wanted to look at her chest xrays from her primary docs office to see what her baseline was. When she learned she wouldn't be going home yet, she became grouchy and depressed. But back when I still thought she was going home, I went to the library (where I'd just discovered a couple days prior that I could go and check my email) and made plane reservations to return home the next morning. Once I learned she wasn't going home, I was feeling down...like I was leaving too soon. I was supposed to get together with my cousin that night, but she was too tired...but said she'd take me to the airport at 7 the next morning. I got up on Friday morning and rushed to my grandmother's room for one last visit. Went back to the room at 7am to get my luggage and wait for my cousin. Who never showed up. *sigh* My aunt ended up taking me to the airport, and I haven't heard from my cousin since. No apology or nothing. The important thing, I guess, is that I made it. And my grandmother was released later that day. Seeing Artboy was wonderful. It was awful to be away from him for so long...and to have very little contact with him. It was hard to time my calls to him because of the time difference and because of his work schedule. I couldn't stay up long enough to call him when he got off work...and it was hard for me to time my calls during the day. He discovered that he needed me...and I discovered just how much I need him. He had a difficult time while I was gone too, poor guy. *sigh* So I'm glad that my grandmother is home now, and apparently doing well. I'm glad to be home so I can get some rest (sleeping on a cot for 2 weeks sucks if you have a bad back). Now, I just have to find out if I can still go to DC... |