|
navigate inspired by host |
|
neti If you watch Oprah, you'll know what I'm talking about. About a month ago, Dr Oz was talking about a neti pot, which was something I'd seen in the store when I went to look for Ocean Water this winter, but didn't know how to use it or what exactly it was used for. He talked about how it cleans out the sinuses...how it should help with allergies or any sinus problems you might have. And since I have daily allergy problems, I decided that this might be a good thing to try. I ordered one online last week--it was now impossible to find them in the stores. I found a special that included the neti pot and this other bottle that does the same thing, but you squeeze the saline solution into your nose. The set arrived today, and I tried it when I got home. And I've gotta say, it's kinda scary. The first time I tried it, it freaked me out, and I got salt water all over the place. I think it will get better with some practice. And I think I'll actually use the neti pot, instead of the squeeze bottle--that might be less freaky. I'm really hoping it helps. I went shopping for my mom's birthday present today after work. She turned 60 on the 29th, but was in TN, so I hadn't gone shopping yet. I usually give her something from Bath and Body, since she goes through that lotion like water and always says she doesn't need anything, but I wanted this one to be special, since it's a big birthday. I can't afford anything huge, but I went to Brighton and bought her a necklace and matching earrings. She loves Brighton, and hasn't bought anything since she owned her store. I hope she likes them. They even put it in a pretty bag with tissue paper and a bow. :) I will pick her up on Sunday at the airport, so I'll give it to her then. Can I just say how bummed I am that I missed the opening of the Finding Nemo Submarine? When I was a kid, I absolutely LOVED the submarine and was so sad when they closed it. I'd read through the years that they were going to reopen it, but it never happened. And when I was at Disneyland at the beginning of May, I saw where they were going to reopen it. Darn my trip being one month too early! Oh well. Something to look forward to next time. Disney was fun. But I almost missed the trip! I screwed up when I made the re-reservations--I thought we were supposed to be there on Friday, but a few days before the trip, I was printing out the itinerary and noticed that we were actually supposed to be there on Thursday. Ack! That screwed up our plans of driving up to San Diego on Thursday after I got off work, staying in San Diego and then driving up to Anaheim the next morning. I had to get Thurs off as well, and we drove up that morning...after a big argument about what time we were going to leave. Artboy didn't want to get up in the morning, and I didn't want to waste a day there. His friend who lives in San Diego, got us a room up in Anaheim for Saturday night at a hotel nearby, so we stayed at the Disneyland Hotel on Thurs and Fri nights, and then went to a Doubletree nearby on Saturday. It ended up working out okay--we just didn't make it to the beach. His friend ended up coming with us. Originally, she was only supposed to be there for one day, but she ended up staying with us the entire time. It would have been nice to have some time alone with Artboy, but it didn't happen. Before we left, and after Artboy learned that she was coming up the night we arrived, he said that was going to be too much Elizabeth. I admonished him for saying that. But by the second day, I was completely agreeing with him. The first night, Artboy and I went walking around Downtown Disney (which was new since the last time I went there) and we went to dinner at House of Blues. Once Elizabeth got there, we went back to the House of Blues for drinks and then turned in early. We actually got up the next morning early! and went to Disneyland. First day was spent there, and we had a good time. But Liz...the girl talks constantly. And pretends that she knows it all. I found myself just smiling and nodding..pretending that I was listening. And she just continued talking, as if nothing was different. We rode all the rides that we loved, the longest wait being 35 minutes. We only used the Fast Pass a couple times. That night, we ate at a sushi restaurant. The food was good..the service was awful...and the price expensive. Ouch. :) The next day was spent at California Adventure, and I was in love with the park. Took a bunch of pictures...loved what they had done. The first ride we rode was the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, and holy crap, it scared the crap out of me. But I loved every minute of it. :) That night, I made everyone watch the Electrical Parade. I was so psyched to learn that they brought that parade back--i had such fond memories of it as a kid. I think Artboy and Liz wanted to do something else, but it was the first time I put my foot down and said that we had to do this. I got a little emotional during the parade--it was exactly as I'd remembered it. I loved it. :) Artboy wanted to go back to the room after that--he claimed he was exhausted, so we went back. And he then proceeded to play his video game for a few hours. While Liz was showering, I let him know how NOT okay I was with that. That I would have liked to stay longer at Disneyland, but because he said he was exhausted, I gladly came back. But that him staying up another 3 hours, ignoring liz and I and him playing his stupid game wasn't okay. He didn't say anything that night..but the next day he apologized and said he was wrong...that we were there to enjoy Disney. He didn't want to go back the next day, but agreed to go. Unfortunately, I could barely walk at this point. I had huge blisters on the bottom of my toes and my hips were in a lot of pain. We rode a few more rides and then I decided I was done...exhausted and in pain. So we left. Plus, I didn't think I could take any more of Liz. She was sweet to us...but all of her comments about others...and the constant talking..I was just done. I like her..just in small doses. :) One ticket went un-used, and I'm currently selling it on eBay. I learned that a lot of people will go, buy a 5 day pass, use two days or so, and then sell the remaining days. The pass is currently over $100 and there is still 4 days left on the auction. Crazy. Makes me wish that I hadn't used the third pass. Just a little. :) The trip couldn't have come at a better time. Work was, and has continued to be awful. We had more problems with the former assistant, although I think she is, for the most part, finished with us. She may be back in a month or so to do transcription. But I don't think she'll be back for training or for any length of time. And for now, she's in Italy. And then there was just the simple fact that I was doing the work of two people and there was no end in sight. I'd decided that I was going to talk to my boss about how bad things were, but Jess beat me to it. She told his wife, who then told him, who then came to me the day I was going to come to him and asked me how I was doing. I told him that I wasn't doing well, and gave it to him straight. But I knew when he came into my office and asked me how I was doing that she'd talked. Which disappointed me. I know she did it because she cares about me...but I'd told her I was going to talk to him...it should have come from me. And everything i talked to her about was in confidence. Oh well. Lesson learned. So, after I talked to him, he got Pam in the next day. Only...everything we had spoken about...isn't what happened. He told me she was there to help me...to do all the things I didn't have time for. But the first day she was there..he wasn't. And I was going to have her enter logs into the database, but she informed me that she had a project to work on and wouldn't have time to help me. And after she asked me what she could do to help me, and I told her, she refused to answer phones..which was one of the biggest things I needed help with. I talked to my boss when he came back into town, and he talked to her. She said she would help out. But that has yet to happen. She doesn't answer phones. Dr Ass' assistant answers when she can..but if she doesn't, and I don't, Pam doesn't. So I've just given up. And this billing cycle, I didn't give her anything to do. She took me for a coffee break at the beginning of the week to talk...and told me how overwhelmed she was. How she was here to help Mike and she was just overwelmed with all the work. She talked about my boss' faults, and we sat there for over an hour, her talking, and me wondering what the hell we were doing. *shrug* Surprisingly, I'm MUCH less stressed since my talk with my boss. Nothing has changed regarding my work load...and I don't see this working out...but I'm not worrying about it. I'm just doing what I can...as best as I can. Last week, my boss came to me and gave me a $6500 raise. Out of the blue...a month and a half early for my usual raise time. And I wondered...was it because he knew I was looking for a job elsewhere? Was he afraid I'd leave? Or was it b/c he knew what Jess was making and was bringing me up to par with her? I don't know. But I was shocked. That was the largest raise he's given me. It's nice to know that he values me as an employee. But I'm still hating work. It made it more difficult for me to leave though. I was already thinking I'd have to take a pay cut. But that would be a huge paycut. And that money could really help out my debt. So I'll continue to look...and if I find something at a similar rate, I'll take it. But until then, I'll pretend I didn't get the raise and send the extra money towards my debt. My Mom got a raise the same day. I thought that was funny. :) I was watching Oprah last week about depression, and as I was watching it, I started crying. What was said...I identified with it so. It was me! What she was saying...she was describing how I was feeling. I couldn't finish the show--my mom was coming over b/c I was taking her to a play for Mother's Day--but it's really made an impression. I can't pretend that it's other things. That it's the pill. Or the issues with sex are b/c of the pill. Or that I'm just stressed out at work. I'm depressed and I have been for along time. And I need to go get help. That's hard to admit. And it's scary to make the calls. I've got the list of counselors...now I just need to make the appointment. Artboy doesn't believe that I'll do it. He's afraid that I won't. And I can't blame him. He has reason to believe I won't. But I have to. I don't need to feel like this anymore. It's been a difficult month too. The night mom and I went to the play, we went to dinner afterwards, and she told me that my cousin has a brain tumor. That really threw me. I always thought we were close...and not only did she not tell me (she's known since Nov) but damn...it's a brain tumor! That's scary shit. She's taking medication...and it hasn't grown since then. But if it does, they'll have to do surgery. And that scares the shit out of me. Dammit, she's only 27. I'm so scared...so hurt..and so angry that this is happening to her. I went numb in the restaurant...but when I went home, Artboy was out with his brother, and I was alone. I fell apart. I just cried, and cried...and fell asleep for a short period of time before he came home. I'd left a note, telling him what my mom said, and when he came home, I woke up. He got in bed and just held me while I cried some more. The day after that was Jess' birthday. She made me get a pedicure (and she paid for it) and we went to dinner and watched a movie. It was a nice night. And then Artboy came home. I was watching The Office without him..and he was teasing me. And then when i got up to hug him, he told me that his grandma had died. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I seemed more upset by it than he did, tho i know ppl handle things differently. We went to Parker for the funeral the next week. I took off from work and went. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't go. But a big deal was made of the fact that I had a nice boss for letting me go. Artboy's step sis wasn't able to get out of work...Safeway wouldn't let her go b/c it was the week before Memorial Day. I can't believe that a company wouldn't let an employee go to a funeral. I wouldn't work someplace that wouldn't let me go. She wasn't my grandmother, but I knew her...and I know how much she meant to Artboy. And I know that he's afraid of losing people. And I just wished there was something I could do for him. I'm watching Intervention, and I'm thinking this wasn't a good idea. The woman on the show attempted suicide...and it threw me back to when Ryan attempted suicide 5 years ago in 3 days. It's amazing that all this time later, it still affects me...and that I still remember it like it was yesterday. |